You know what? I am really excited to be moving across the country. I was praying about it this morning and now I'm not worried anymore. I was reading a verse in Philippians- 3:7-8 - that says:
"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ..."
This verse gave me much needed comfort. Why am I so afraid of moving? I know why- it's because I'm going to miss my family and friends. But I can call and write, and I'm sure they will visit.
I do want to say that this year has been tough. It was the first time that I was in a serious relationship and that was a big adjustment in itself. I went from having a lot of time to myself to having hardly any time at all, and I did lose a lot of "friends" in the process. Some people weren't happy that Jeff and I were together and that was hard. My family was upset that I wasn't spending as much time with them and then there was my apartment situation. I found it to be very stressful living there and on top of that I had to pay a lot more money than expected because the people who were leasing it for a few months decided not to pay their last months rent. A lot of my friends had moved away, I didn't feel like I belonged at church or Sub 25... I would often think of how things used to be- when I was living with Nicole and we would have people over and have so much fun (and I would pick up her rotten apple cores and be sent to my room *smiles*) ... I was a group leader at Sub 25, I played the keyboard at times, I would go out after church and have a lot of fun... I loved dating Jeff and I really love being married to Jeff, but part of me felt lonely because a lot of people from church seemed distant, and I guess I seemed distant. It was tough.
But now I think I know why things were so tough. God wanted me to come closer to Him, and I did the opposite. I pulled away. But now I'm trying to stay focussed on what's really important. God loves me. He loved me when I met and married Jeff. He loved me during the times when I felt lonely and sad. He loved me when I felt that everyone was leaving. He loved me when I felt like I let Sub 25 down and let people from church down. God will always love me. I can't try to please people all the time. Yes, I need to try to "live at peace with everyone", but most of all I need to be at peace with God and put Him first in my life. And that's why I'm now excited about this move (I know, I'm hard to follow). :) I need to put God first. He wants to teach me so much. He wants Jeff and I to move. We both know that. And by trusting Him, He is going to teach us so much. I know I'll meet people and I know that this is going to be a very exciting year. All of my "trials" happened for a reason. God wanted me to see that He is there in the tough times. He wanted me to realize that at those times when I feel like I've lost everything I need to look to Him and "consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ".
So let's pack our bags: I'm moving to Cochrane, Alberta. :) What? *smiles*